I uncovered a collection of notes during my lowest point of the pandemic, after leaving my career, not seeing family for months, and feeling sorry for myself. One quiet afternoon, I unearthed several boxes of old pictures and greeting cards. Among those treasures was a manila envelope holding letters and quotes my Grannie had written before she left this world on May 8, 1978. She reassured me before she passed not to worry about her, and she continues guiding me through unfortunate circumstances to make the best of things: 

• “If God be with us, who can be against us?”
• “Patience and fortitude conquer all things.”
• “Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.”
• “It takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow.”
• “When you’re at the end of your rope, make a knot and hang on!”

On the backside of one of the many pieces of paper, written sideways, is one word, “Leslie.” Were these pages meant for me to find on a day I needed them the most?

Letters from Grannie were lovingly handwritten in her distinctive cursive, using the edge of an envelope to keep her words lined up evenly on the paper. Sometimes she would forget to go back and complete the hanging loops on a “g” or “y.” I can almost hear her sweet Hispanic accent in a letter from San Diego dated July 9, 1973, when I was twelve. “On the fourth of July, we eat a nice dinner out at the patio and after supper the man of Bobbie and some friends lighted a beautiful fire work, just like the real McCoy.” She didn’t mention she was staying with my Uncle Bob’s family while undergoing radiation therapy for breast cancer. And she didn’t say she was afraid, sad, or in pain although she must have been. 

It was hard being apart from Grannie that summer and wondering when, or if, she would come home. But her cheerful voice comforted me, every word emanating from the heart. In one quote, she imparts, “Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others.” Growing up, my greatest fear was that one day I’d lose my Grannie. But this letter from her gave me peace:

“My dearest little Leslie. I was so happy to get your letters. I know you miss me as much as I miss you, but it won’t be long now, just three more weeks. Then I’ll never leave again I promise. I’ll be so glad when I’ll be able to see you dance, play cards, laugh of silly things. Gee, I sure miss my Leslie girl.”

I didn’t realize then that Grannie’s inspiration and influence would follow me through life, giving me strength and solace, especially when I’m alone. These quotes are written on lined steno-paper that has started to yellow, “Any person with an active mind learn to live alone and like it. I learn to like it.” And “People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” My favorite, “I hope dear Lord, that you will forgive my anger and impatience with other people. Please help to restore my feelings of compassion and understanding. Amen.” I pray this every day when I hear negativity filling the air and try shutting it out. 

On an envelope buried under scraps of paper with quotes, jokes, and prayers are words from a pen running low on ink, “Things to put on your book.” Everyone said Grannie could write a book. Despite adversity in her life, she wouldn’t have written about her misfortunes. She would have written a lovely book of inspiring quotes or an anthology of short stories about history, family, and the hope of prosperity. Could that message have been for me, somehow knowing I would one day write her story?

(This post is dedicated to Grannie on her birthday. Born September 10, 1895)