“Are you lonely?” they ask.
“No.”
To be lonely is to be isolated, friendless, forlorn, or sad. The dictionary says loneliness is the state of being alone and feeling sad about it, or a feeling of anxiety that occurs when one wants company. So, no. I’m not at all lonely.
I am alone. Solo. Solitary. Having no one else present most of the time. And the truth is I enjoy my own company, alone with my thoughts and feelings. I’m at peace with myself.
In this photo, I walk alone on a beach. Perfectly content.
And not at all lonely.
As I write this welcome blog, I’m turning 60 and treating myself to a primo margarita at my favorite Mexican restaurant. I’ve wanted to start a blog for a long while, and now my friends, it’s time!
First a little about me. You already know my age and my favorite beverage. My first memory of childhood is an image of my 8-year-old self, sitting cross-legged on the floor of a small, hallway linen closet, writing poems. I’m not much of a poet now, but I love writing personal essays and memoir.
Life took me in directions I never would have planned for myself had I known better. I studied business (not my heart’s choice) at Arizona State University, got married (rather hastily), had two amazing kids, got divorced (not hastily), earned a master’s degree, and retired one year ago from a career in health care administration. A mentor of mine asked me a couple years ago what it is I really want to do with the rest of my life. My answer? Spend time with grandkids and write. Committing this to someone I respect was the first step in realizing my dream. Aside from writing and hanging out with toddlers, my companions keep me company—Millie, a ten-pound Shih-Tzu, and Zulu, a 100+ pound Sulcata Tortoise.
I don’t know about you all, but this pandemic has changed me—in a good way and maybe a not-so-good way. I know for sure I’m more grateful than ever before–for family, friends, home, and pets. But, on the other hand, I’ve had a lot of time to think about stuff, and in a way, I’ve become a little bitchy. All my life, I’ve felt as if I could never live up to the expectations of others. And then one day, I realized I don’t have to. This was a revelation I wish had come to me decades ago. I’ve been told by previous employers that I’m “too nice” and I needed to “be bold.” Readers, I’m happy to say I’m finally taking their advice. It’s never too late to throw out the nice and bring on the bold!
I’m excited to share what I’ve learned from two failed marriages, parenthood, grand-parenthood, “pet-owner-hood” and the challenge of leaving a successful career to follow my dreams. I’ll be sharing my projects and publications as well as book reviews. My new adventure feels risky and a little scary. But it’s the best gift I could give myself…the exception being this delicious margarita.
I hope you’ll join me on a fun journey of “new beginnings” and I’d love to hear your suggestions on topics to cover in my blog. Just keep your ideas (mostly) clean and (always) respectful of everyone on this planet.
Thanks for coming to my Birthday celebration. If you were here, I’d buy you a margarita or whatever refreshment you enjoy. I want to get to know you, learn from you, and share stories about life, love, and everything “women.”
Happy days are ahead.
Cheers!
Free to be Me: Sharing Stories and Fun After 40 